Faith Jam: Finding the One...

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It's the month of classic June weddings and a reader asked Bonnie "how she met her husband?"...so this week, in the spirit of encouragement, Bonnie is asking us to share on the topic of "Finding the One".

Well...our story is what I consider the "new classic" love story because it entails all the trappings of a modern day life...previously married man and woman, carrying kids and tons of baggage...that was almost 20 years ago!

Over the years, when people first get to know us, they are always asking..."how long have you two been married?" Then when they find out really how long...they are shocked and usually they tell us it's because we still act like newlyweds. AND not because we are hanging all over each other...making public displays of affection...it's because we both still "light up" when we talk to one another on the phone or when the other walks into the room. Also, they soon learn, that we are genuine when we tell them that we do not care about spending time apart from each other. Living and working together, day-in and day-out, here at the Love Shack for the past 18 months has been a testament to that...lol

So back to the beginning...we met while we were both working for the State of NH, Dept. of Transportation...me downstairs in the dungeon for the Bureau of Public Works and he upstairs in the cushy executive, air-conditioned offices of the IT Department. I had just gone through a divorce from hell (three years in-and-outta court) from my first husband and had a really bad attitude as far as ALL men were concerned. He was going through his second divorce and apparently had noticed me while in the cafeteria at work. Because his divorce wasn't finalized as yet...he was a little apprehensive when it came to asking me out on a date...rightly so! So he asked a mutual friend, Suzanne in the Bureau of Accounts, first, if I would be open to dating a soon to be divorcee? One day as I was crossing the parking lot, Suzanne called out to me as I was leaving for lunch...inquiring if I was open to dating a really nice guy. To which I responded...yeah right! So she insisted on giving him my phone number and I reluctantly agreed.

That same afternoon I received a phone call from him while I was still at work. Poor thing I snapped at him {I do not know why he ever called me back} when I told him that I did not mix my work life with my personal life and that he could call me at home after 9:00pm when my kids were in bed. He called that very night...and every night after that for the next three weeks!

Guess I was playing hard to get because...I was not going to be easy to get...which really means that I was just not going to settle for anything less than what I wanted. The funny thing was that the entire time we spoke on the phone for those three weeks...I never knew what he LOOKED LIKE! One day when I saw Suzanne in the building again, I asked her about his appearance and she just laughed at me and said that I had nothing to worry about. Well I was worried because I was so attracted to his personality and hoped that I would also be attracted to him physically.

He kept asking me out on dates...but they were to do things that I just didn't like to do...like go hiking...yuk! Just turning 30 and being divorced, I knew, that I was not going to "try to please him" by agreeing to do things that he liked. Then after bumping into him in the cafeteria and not recognizing him...he called me again in my office. At first I was upset with him...that is until I realized that I had hurt his feelings when I didn't recognize him. His voice sound familiar when he said "good morning" but I was in work mode...what can I say...lol SO he asked out on a lunch date and I agreed (finally...according to him ;) and our first day was on a Friday the 13th of August 1991.

What can I say...he already held my heart, during our hours of intimate phone conversations, when we discussed everything from our kids and how to raise them...to our spiritual beliefs and religion; our past relationships and marriages; our hopes and dreams for our futures and careers; living within your budget; what made us personally happy and even the little things {which become big things later ;} like how important it was to keeping a neat home.

Then, when I finally met him in the flesh...I was instantly attracted to him! My heart was pounding...my brain became instantly fuzzy and inside...I was leaping to a joyous happy dance.

Apparently he was having the same feelings and when our lunch time was up...we just didn't want it to stop...so much so that we didn't go back to work that afternoon! Thank goodness we both had secure jobs with supportive bosses who personally knew us and wanted to be part of the merry matchmaking process ;)

After that first date I knew that I would always love this man...I can't explain it...I just knew.

So much so that...even when we were working through all the issues that come with a modern day romance...like my initial reluctance to commitment; us trying to blend our families; his turning 40 and having a midlife crises; and then after two years of dating, his commitment phobia...and we had decided to separate for a while...that I had decided that even if we were not together...that I'd still love him no matter what!

It just was not in me to be angry with him or to try to hate him just because he decided that he didn't want to be with me anymore. Especially when my own family tried to persuade me otherwise and to bring him down...that's when I really knew that HE WAS THE ONE! I was also over any drama...had enough of that in my first marriage...and so at that point I simply surrendered! "I gave it up to God"...as I had always told my boys to do whenever they found themselves in a situation that they had no control over. I was at peace with knowing that I was better for having had the time with him that I did. Sounds so cliche...I know...but it was the truth and even though I was missing him terribly...I also knew that I was going to be okay...eventually ;)

YES...obviously...he came back to me and from that day forward we have been blessed to be together. Through the best...and also through some very tough times...and not once have we felt like it wasn't meant to be. Our favorite line...